It would appear that the good folks at Digiview Entertainment have finally come to their senses. Instead of releasing every goofy public domain picture they can get their greedy little hands on, they've reached deep into the York Entertainment vault for their current wave of one dollar DVD releases. B-movie fans who have stared blankly at the cinematic fungus growing on those wobbly Wal-Mart discount racks in search of something worthwhile can how breathe a collective sigh of relief. Gone are the watered down Hercules epics, the low-budget cartoons with the really bad overdubbing. In their place we have Ron Marchini, fallen rap stars, and a slew of forgotten Fred Williamson titles.
How impossibly cool is that?
Out of the fifteen or so flicks I picked up the other day, Alan Roberts' action disasterpiece Karate Cop (aka Omega Cop II) was probably the one I was most excited about. Having recently witnessed the immortal '70s classic Death Machines — a film which features Ron Marchini as a mute, no-nonsense hit man — I was quite psyched about checking out all of the martial arts mayhem contained on that shiny little disc. After all, the DVD packaging did proclaim that this was the movie action fans have been waiting for. How can you argue with a statement like that? You can't, so I didn't.
Going into Karate Cop, I had no idea that I was actually dealing with a sequel to a wonky late-'80s B-movie. Thankfully, you really don't need to know anything about the previous entry in this admittedly stupid series to fully enjoy all of the silliness awaiting those brave enough to drop a dollar for this goofy little production. All you need to know is that John Travis will hurt you severely if you happen upon his bad side. Since Ron Marchini has the emotional range of a freeze-dried vegetable, you may have some difficulty determining when, exactly, you've pissed him off. Sorry about that.
The story itself is really nothing more than an unholy amalgamation of several very successful Hollywood films, complete with a slew of horrible one-liners and a nifty collection of poorly-edited fight sequences. The latter, of course, is probably the only reason you're here in the first place. Thankfully, the film boasts a number of crazy action set pieces, including a particularly satisfying encounter with cult icon David Carradine inside a rundown diner frequented by several pasty patrons. Word of advice: if Mr. Carradine asks you to try the jackrabbit stew, you should at least give it a shot. Otherwise, you may irritate him profusely. Seriously.
On the performance tip, you've got absolutely nothing whatsoever. Everyone is either embarrassingly wretched or completely over-the-top. Ron Marchini is easily the worst offender, dumping putrid dialogue on the unsuspecting audience whenever the narrative needs a moment of comic relief. It works, but not in the way the filmmakers had intended. I should mention, however, that John Travis' "Assholes to ashes, dictators to dust" line will probably make it onto my tombstone. As soon as I convince my wife, my parents, and my lawyer, of course. Otherwise I'll print up a few T-shirts and sell them at flea markets.
For one whole dollar plus state sales tax, Karate Cop is lots of fun. Not good, mind you, but definitely fun. Everything about the movie is a joke, right down to that horribly cheesy song that plays over the end credits. Ron Marchini actually makes Don "The Dragon" Wilson appear quite competent in comparison, which may explain why I purchased a worn VHS copy of Cybertracker for fifty cents later that afternoon. Overall, I'm quite pleased with my pocket change purchase, and look forward to dumpster diving through the other Digiview releases in the near future.
Karate master Ron Marchini stars as John Travis, martial arts expert and post-apocalyptic hero extraordinaire. When he's not feeding Big Hunk chocolate bars to his faithful canine companion(!), he's rescuing busty damsels from a never-ending stream of deformed mutants and lecherous villains. With the promise of a hot meal, John helps his newfound friend Rachel (Carrie Chambers) return to her derelict home on the outskirts of some very hostile territory. There he meets her young companions called The Freebies, a rag-tag army of children who appear to be either stoned, retarded, or a blissful combination of the two.
Unfortunately for poor John, there's no hot meal, no running water, and absolutely no hot sex. Bummer. What they do have for our hero is a mission, one that will send him to the far reaches of this nuclear wasteland in search of a crystal that will power the teleportation device the chick and her adopted children have stashed in their hideout. Not only will John have to battle a giggling lunatic named Lincoln and his reptilian sidekick Snake, he'll also have to rescue his female friend once again from certain sexual doom. Can our hero save the day, get the girl, and keep his dog from getting hit in the crossfire?
